my wife and i are raising my baby brother. we got custody when both of my parents passed away in 2007 he’s a special needs child ( he has epilepsy absent seizures, MR and ADHD.) things have been really stressful adjusting to life since he’s been with my wife and i.

try as i might i just don’t feel a bond with him. we have different fathers. most of the time i find myself depressed because i get really frustrated with him. he’s in special education and failing everything in school and he won’t even try. at times he uses his disability as an excuse to keep from doing schoolwork. we’re in the process of working with his teachers so he can get the best education possible for his learning needs.

he constantly destroys everything that ( like ripping apart school binders, ripping holes in clothing, scratching until he bleeds , biting his nails until they bleed, stealing things and hiding them so he can tear them apart , lying to keep from doing homework and schoolwork. or reading books, forging my signature on parent conference slips , acting up in school all the time) my wife and I are doing everything we can to make his environment nurturing and loving. we’ve got him in family and individual therapy, special needs kids groups, youth sports, and learning Group and spending lots of time with him so that he has a normal life.

but at times i feel guilty because i don’t feel the same bond that a parent would have with their biological child. i feel no attachment to him. i want to but it feels awkward . all the time he yells at me

"You are NOT my dad you make my life miserable!"
i’d never Ever spank him or yell at him but my wife gets upset because he her hurts her feelings all the time when she tries to do family things with him.

to make matters worse my wife is dealing with Infertility. my wife and i have been trying for 10 years to have children of our own. enduring this journey has left us with 7 failed IVF cycles , and 4 miscarriages.
It hurts when people see us and assume that we don’t need to have children of our own because we’re raising him. A lot of friends act like he’s a miracle cure for the feelings that come with experiencing infertility.

i hate that people expect my brother to be a stand-in for a biological child.

whenever i try to talk to anyone about what i’m feeling I’ve had people including some family make some completely insensitive comments about our situation. they’ve been from the mildly misinformed to the down right rude. the constant "baby-issue" is the thing that wounds me so often. I cannot tell you how many times I feel completely isolated when i’m asked about children and babies, the constant questions and barrage of rude comments are like a continuous pouring of salt on my openly wounded heart.
i can’t bring myself to go to baby related things isolate myself from the other family with babies because it hurts too much. and I’ve got 4 cousins who’ve just had new babies.

i feel like everyone else has beautiful kids . and i don’t and no one understands. i just want to know how do i deal with this?
i’m just depressed about all of this

Elizabeth gives some tips on how to break the news to an infertile loved one that you are pregnant. Thank you, Lisa, for your question and support! Music: “The Hunger Stays” by Margaret BeckerDISCLAIMER The participants in 5WaitingWombs are not medical professionals and do not take legal responsibility for any information or advice that is shared via videos, emails, comments. The information and facts we share are for educational purposes only and cannot substitute for a conversation with your doctor or pharmacist. We strongly encourage you to discuss with and obtain permission from your doctor before making any medical decision or beginning any over-the-counter or doctor prescribed drug(s) / herbs.

If a woman has tumors on her uterus wall is it legal for an insurance not to cover the treatment because they consider it a reproductive issue not coveted in the insurance. I don’t even want to get pregnant so even though I am suffering from pain boosting and heavy periods I’m not allowed to get treatment to have them removed because a side effect would be I could get my infertility reversed.
My stupid spellcheck it’s not coveRed by the insurance, and pain BLOATING.
Im over 35 and found out this is why I wasn’t able to get pregnant and none of the doctors bothered telling me because they knew treatment wasn’t covered. I only found out on accident long story so I’m pretty upset about it especially considering viagra and all male issues are covered for men. No wonder I have bruises all over my body I’m probably anemic from the heavy periods and I don’t want to take hormone pills to cover the issue as they carry symptoms of their own and at my age other risks for cancer too.